I *will* walk again!
Late last summer, Eric went “man down,” meaning he was wheeled out of his cell on a stretcher, into an ambulance and off to the hospital. We had no news regarding his condition or whereabouts for three months when he magically reappeared in our Circle.
Eric is a 70+ year old Vietnam vet who has witnessed his body degrade and shut down for years now due to Agent Orange-induced Parkinson’s. He sometimes shakes like a leaf and can be quite unsteady on his legs, when he is able to stand up. Every time he speaks, we notice the effort he places on articulation.
This past Tuesday, he told us a story from that 3-month absence. At the hospital, once he had been stabilized, the doctors had said that Eric would likely not walk again due to the progression of the Parkinson’s. Eric responded “To heck with that! I’ll be walking in a few weeks.” And sure enough, a few weeks later, he was back on his wobbly legs, getting out of bed on his own. And a few weeks after that, he made his reappearance into our Circle.
As a team, we probed into what allowed Eric to beat the doctor’s prognosis in a few short weeks. And the answer is the same as in the popular Lord of the Rings clip featuring Gandalf’s “You shall not pass,” which we view every time we speak about the second of the 7 ingredients of brilliance: Commit.
Most of us may say we’re committed… but our actions reveal that this commitment is only skin- or words-deep. When push comes to shove, we buckle and cave to the resistance. This is the equivalent of Gandalf turning to face the Balrog, claiming “you cannot pass” (as he does first), to then be overwhelmed by fear and concede with “Ok, ok. Go ahead.”
And yet, Gandalf, shortly after this first “You cannot pass,” declares with all of his power and might “You! Shall not! Pass!” What happened in the few seconds between these two statements? What made the second statement so powerful that it shattered the bridge?
Gandalf claims and stands in his identity. “I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow!” He knows that he knows that he knows who he is in his highest brilliance. THIS is the source of the power Gandalf exudes as he declares that the Balrog shall not pass.
Eric demonstrated this exact same power to us on Tuesday. “No, this Parkinson’s does not define who I am and what I do. I am a child of God, living in his power and in his abundance.” Eric believes this so strongly that no other truth receives the light of day in his heart.
We witness this determination when Eric speaks with poised articulation and wisdom, when he stands up for every one of our closing circles, when he tames his hands that have decided to tremble more than the task allows, etc. Nothing about Eric is defined by the Parkinson’s that is eating away at his body.
It is not Gandalf’s “You shall not pass” or Eric’s “I will walk again” that bring these two assertions into reality. It is the strength and power that flow from their crystal clear understanding of who they are.
You have a choice: Do you stand in this same power and influence? If so, bravo for knowing in every fiber of your being who you are in your highest brilliance. If not, the answer doesn’t come from trying really hard – pushing, shoving and striving – until you see the desired outcome (which usually gets undone as soon as you release the pressure). Get to know who you are. Journey to identify your brilliance. The answer always lies there first.
PS: While Eric may, at first glance, look frail, mumbly, trembly and wobbly, you now know why we regularly declare him to be our Circle's greatest Bad Ass.